Trying to make a joke that doesn't offend anyone in 2015

Meme Trying to make a joke that doesn't offend anyone in 2015
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Trust me she is not that fat - Vodka
When my mom asks how my exam is going
And that's how computers are made
At least you tried
This salad is awesome
Yer boat iz ready kaptn - Sailor Cat
Only room I am willing to clean
Not sure if pregnant or american
Close enough