How to make a joke that doesn't offend anyone in 2015

Meme How to make a joke that doesn't offend anyone in 2015
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Get off the table - You are not my real mom - Cat
Your mama so ugly one direction went other direction
I love you future bacon
Windshield wipers
Lemme grab dat ass
i will kill you with my bear hands
Shit just got real
Help me! - Crocodile
there was a mouse